Munchy Madness
by nerdsandnutella
Summary: In desperate need of some munchies, Robin attempts an important covert mission (but nothing is ever covert when Batman is your dad.) Batman and Robin-centric with some guest appearances by the team.


Creeping through the hallway, Robin cautiously peeked into Kid Flash's room. _Empty,_ he thought. _Excellent._

Robin quickly opened the door and darted in; he didn't want to be seen. Not that he really had anything to worry about. Being Batman's stealthy protégé had its perks.

KF's room was a mess. Clothes were strewn everywhere, looking like they'd been whipped around by a superspeed tornado (which was entirely possible). Old pizzas crusts and soda cans added to the mess, with candy wrappers and action figures thrown carelessly on top. If that wasn't enough, a week-old glass of milk and a half-eaten sandwich lay on the desk, each covered with a layer of greenish mold. Above them a half-licked lollipop stuck to the wall. There might've even been a few bloodstains on the floor.

All in all, hurricane damage paled in comparison to the carnage that was Wally's room.

Searching was going to take time. Luckily for Robin, Kid Flash was at the movies with Artemis and Miss M. They would be gone a while, seeing as the movie was _The Hobbit_. Robin didn't think he could even sit through a fourth of one of those movies; too much scenery and not enough action.

Robin set his shoulders and began the search. He yanked open drawers and looked under the bed. He opened bins, then checked the closet. Throwing open the shower curtain and, finding nothing, Robin growled in frustration. _Think Rob, think._ He crossed the room and sat on Wally's bed with a 'crunch'.

A grin slowly appeared on Boy Wonder's face. _Bingo._

Hopping off the bed, he peeked under the mattress. The motherload of motherloads came into view.

There were bags of Cheetos and boxes of Pop-Tarts, cans of Pringles and bottles of soda. Packets of gummies were scattered about the large pile, and a giant-sized Hershey chocolate bar peeked out from below the Lays BBQ potato chips (family size, of course). All of the food was spread out through the space between the mattress and bed frame in various packaging. The collection was every teenage boy's dream junk food stash.

"YES!" Robin punched the air with his fist. He had been going absolutely crazy ever since Batman had purged the mountain of anything even remotely unhealthy. Even Flash's 'hidden' cache of Oreos was taken and replaced with whole wheat crackers. Given, Robin was used to eating healthy at the manor as Alfred wouldn't allow anything processed within a ten-mile radius of the house. The only way he was able to stand this was eating junk food at the Mountain. That kept his teenager need for trans-fat satisfied and the balance between green and grease had been working out. But lately, Batman had decided he had seen too much unhealthy food consumed by the Justice League and their younger counterparts and decided to do something about it.

It wasn't just the Mountain that had been meticulously gone through. The Watchtower had also been subject to a Batman search and destroy mission, leaving nothing but Alfred-approved sustenance in his wake.

Of course, Robin knew that Wally would never survive without junk food. KF was a speedster. It ran in the family.

Desperation drove Robin to his current mission.

Silently thanking his friend for his processed food obsession, Robin began to throw food into a blue knapsack. A little of this, a little of that, things that Wally wouldn't realize were missing. His stomach started to growl, and he debated eating something now.

His stomach growled again, more forcefully.

Debate over.

As Robin tore open the extra-large Hershey bar, his communicator beeped and Aqualad's voice filled the silence of the once quiet room. "Robin, I need you to report to the zeta beams. We are receiving a new mission from Batman. Hurry." Kaldur's voice was gone as quickly as it had come.

Groaning, Robin grabbed the chocolate bar, stuffed it in his knapsack, and left the room silently.

 _Now for where to stash the stash._

The hallway was deserted and there was no good hiding spot in sight. The plant was too obvious, the ceiling tiles were unmovable, but there had to be something... Robin's eyes ghosted over a plain silver appliance, then zeroed back in on it quickly.

 _The vent!_

Taking out his toolkit, the Boy Wonder hastily undid the latches and pushed his bag into the vent until it was out of sight. The dark blue of the bag was helpful camouflage in the darkness. Smirking, Robin replaced the cover and continued down the hall on his way to meet the team.

* * *

 ** _Three Hours Later_**

"We-ell, that was fun. Can we order pizza?" A bright red and yellow suit flashed by the rest of the team as they disembarked the bio-ship. Wally skidded to a halt in front of the doors to the Mountain, tapping his foot at super speed impatiently as everyone else followed at normal speed. "Come _on!_ I think I'm going to starve if I don't eat something soon!" Wally theatrically slumped against the wall, gasping, "Must eat food... body...needs...pizza..."

Artemis rolled her eyes as she pushed him aside. "Knock it off Baywatch. Can you get any more annoying?"

Wally looked affronted. "Hey! I resent that comment!"

Artemis smirked and followed the rest of the team inside to change.

Wally refused to give up. "But seriously, Rob, will you order pizza? Pretty pretty please with cherries and hot fudge and caramel on top?"

"Wallllly," Robin groaned, "You eat like a bazillion pizzas."

"No, not a bazillion. More like twelve. If they're large ones. Come on, _please_?" Wally leaned over and whispered in Robin's ear, "Or else I'll tell Alfred where you really were after school last Wednesday."

His best friend narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't."

"Try me." Wally pulled out his phone and dialed the Wayne home phone. The phone began to ring, and Robin gave in.

"Fine! Put the phone away!" Robin tried to grab the phone from Wally who at the same time tried to hang up. The two boys' hands collided, causing Wally to drop the phone, where it hit the ground and skittered across the concrete garage floor.

Unfortunately, Alfred picked up at that very moment, "Alfred Pennyworth speaking. Master Kid Flash?"

Wally leapt for the phone, put it to his ear and frantically tried to resolve the situation. "Oh hi Alfred! Uh, everything's cool, accidentally butt-dialed you, no biggie, you make awesome cookies by the way, okseeyoulaterbye!" He quickly hung up, nearly threw the phone at Robin in his rush to get rid of it like it was a hot potato. "See, I fixed it! Everything's all good. Now I think I was promised pizza."

Robin shook his head in amusement at his best friend and the two followed the rest of the team into the mountain.

* * *

"I want a mission debrief from every one of you by 10pm tonight. At least ten pages in length detailing how, _exactly_ , the silent alarms that you were aware existed before the mission were triggered only twenty seconds after landing at the compound. There must be at least ten pages, single spaced, including precautionary measures that can be taken to prevent this kind of problem from happening ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

Six "Yes Batman's" were muttered in annoyance, though KF didn't seem too put off. Before he could go racing off though, he was called back by the Bat.

"Kid Flash, I want your debrief to be written without any superspeed whatsoever. You will write it in the cave in plain view of the security cameras at all times. Understood?"

KF's face drooped to match the rest of the team. "Yes Batman."

Robin rolled his eyes beneath his mask as he headed to his room in the Mountain. Ten pages was absolutely nothing compared to what Batman expected from his Gotham mission debriefs, even when all he did was observe all night.

The mission wasn't _that_ much of failure; the team was still able to recover the priceless artifacts, arrest the cartel, and get back in time for dinner. It wasn't his fault that KF was about as stealthy as a twelve-ton elephant, or that Artemis always started an argument, or that Superboy couldn't control his own strength…yeah, the team was kind of a mess.

At least now he could drown his sorrows in candy bars.

Robin stealthily made his way back to his junk food hiding place. He looked up and down the hall twice to make sure no one walked in on his operation, then quickly unscrewed the vent and reached inside to grab the bag.

But there was nothing there.

Robin peered inside, then stretched his arm all the way in, feeling around the warm metal for any trace of his knapsack, but found nothing.

 _Maybe it got blown backwards?_ He stuck his head in and reached even further, stretching his fingers just a few more inches-

"Looking for something?" a low voice boomed suddenly beside him.

Robin jumped, accidentally banging his head on the top of the metal vent. "Oww," he groaned, rubbing his head and pulling his arm out, already knowing who the mystery voice belonged to. "Hi Batman."

He looked up and saw his mentor staring down at him, his signature frown present on an otherwise masked face.

"Would you like to explain why you decided to do some maintenance today?" Batman asked, gesturing to metal cover laying on the floor. "Or better, would you like to tell me why I found your knapsack full of Wally's junk food hidden in a vent?"

"Heh," Robin chuckled nervously, "well…" He looked down at his feet, knowing the Bat already knew all the details of formerly covert plan. All he could hope for now was for Bruce to not tell Alfred. Any punishment Batman could cook up was nothing compared to getting the cold shoulder from the butler for a week.

A corner of Batman's mouth twitched upward at the thought of his son's extreme efforts to get some snacks. "The plan was a decent one, Robin, and fairly well executed. If you can tell me where you went wrong, I will keep this from Alfred."

Robin silently breathed a sigh of relief. "I…didn't hack all of the security cameras?"

"Wrong. You successfully looped the footage on all of them."

"I left evidence in Wally's room?"

"Wrong. You were very careful in obtaining the food."

Robin was getting frustrated. "Someone saw me?"

"Wrong again, Robin."

The young vigilante huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance. "It sounds like I did a good job then, so what'd I mess up?"

"What season is it?" Batman asked.

"Winter."

"And what is the job of a vent in winter?"

Robin's eyes widened as he suddenly realized his mistake:

"The chocolate melted."

Batman brought out the incriminating knapsack from under his cape- _where does he have room that stuff?-_ and handed it to his protégé. The contents of the bag squished as Robin grabbed it and he cringed.

Robin opened the bag carefully and peeked inside. "Whoops."

"I hope you've learned your lesson," Batman said, reaching for the bag back. "That food is unhealthy and detrimental to your physical health; I got rid of it for a reason." Batman took the bag back and dropped it in the nearest trash can.

Robin frowned. "Yes Batman."

"But," Batman added, pulling out a fresh Hershey bar from his utility belt, "I won't tell if you won't."

"Sweet!" Robin flashed a big smile, quickly grabbing the bar from his mentor before he changed his mind. "Thanks Batman!"

Batman's mouth twitched upwards again, something only his son ever seemed to make it do. "Don't think this doesn't mean you're still running laps when we get home."

"Aw mannn…"

* * *

 **Please pleaseeeee review if you liked it, and let me know if you want to see more Young Justice!**

 **-Em**

 **P.S. Once I finish my summer class in June, I'm going to push out the last chapter of Training Sessions as soon as possible, so give it a follow (and review if you're feeling generous) to get notified when I upload it.**


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